Clothes, Clothes, and more Clothes

I have some weird rules when it comes to clothing. But like most of my other quirks, I just assumed that everyone did those things too. But I am (slowly) learning that most people do not in fact have so many random rules about clothing. So here are some of my clothing rules.

I will only wear clothes if they fit perfectly. There are very few clothes that fit perfectly. I try on the clothes in the morning and see if they fit for that day, and then change them if they do not. The fit has to be more than just a physical fit, it has to match my mood for that day too. I have to be comfortable in the clothes, and able to handle whatever things life is going to throw at me that day. If I am in a good mood, I will wear something I like. Usually, if I am in a bad mood I will try to dress up nicely so that I can at least look good.

I also have a need, a compulsion, to change clothes as soon as I get home every day. I feel that the clothes I wore wherever I went that day are dirty and must be changed. I know other people do this sometimes, but I do it every time. I get panicky if I don’t do that. This becomes a problem when I have breaks in the day and I go home for lunch or something. I will change when I come home lunch and then change again when I leave later. I a super paranoid that someone will see me and confront me about changing clothes in the middle of the day. I recognize that that is a completely ridiculous fear, but I can’t stop it.

At home, I will only wear a t shirt and shorts, even in winter. Shorts are just infinitely more comfortable. I would probably wear nothing but shorts forever if I could. But for some reason, those are not acceptable in ‘work settings’. I suppose I could probably  get away with it, but it just feels wrong.

I go through phases with shirts and will wear a certain shirt every day for a while. And then one day, I am done with it and don’t touch it for a while.

I am incredibly picky when it comes to buying new clothes. I can’t stand to try on new clothes because I am creeped out by the thought that someone else has tried it on before me. So I just buy it and wash it and then try it on to see if it fits. I also have a strong aversion to taking things back if they don’t fit. I usually just keep it in a box and try every few months to see if it fits now. When I am shopping, I am extremely self-conscious of people looking at me and judging me for looking at certain clothes. I know that that is ridiculous, but again, it’s a part of me that I can’t just turn off. I get really freaked out, and usually can last about 15 minutes before I have to leave. Just like all my other errands, I try to plan them at times when no one else is there.

I think that people should dress the way their personality is. Preppy happy people need to dress like preppy happy people. Red jackets, puka-shell necklaces, green and white tennis shoes, and sweat bands are all things that preppy people can wear. If anyone not preppy wears those items, it looks bad and I judge the people very harshly for it.

I once had a red jacket. It was a kind of athletic looking jacket. I loved that jacket so much, but I could never wear it because I wasn’t ever the right type of person for it. I finally had to throw it away because it just sat in my closet mocking me for never being happy and preppy enough to wear it.

I also worry a lot about people seeing me wear the same clothes again and again and I am afraid they will judge me for it. So much so, that for a time I kept a log of what I wore and whom I saw so that I could be certain not to double up.  This problem is especially bad since I only have a few shirts that I can wear.

I prefer lighter colors now, although I used to only wear black (during my long ‘gothic’ phase from about 14 to 17). I worry about matching colors because I truly don’t understand how matching works. I know color schemes very well from my years as a graphic designer and can do those all day. But that’s because I familiar with how those look on the screen and how they will print out. I have no idea how to judge the color of something when it looks totally different in every light setting. Also, do black and brown really make you frown?

I am glad to be a man, because that makes fashion so much easier. Male fashion is basically pants and shirts and jackets. Rinse and repeat. Most outfits are made to be worn again with a different combo. Finally, something that the rest of society came up with that actually makes logical sense! I think that makes 2 things so far.

I am a huge fan of jewelry for some reason. As long as I can remember, I have worn a bracelet and a necklace, even though boys aren’t supposed to do that sort of thing. My bracelets have always been handmade, some piece of fabric or rope or something that I made. I wear it till it breaks and then repeat with the nearest thing I can make a bracelet out of. I feel totally naked if I don’t have a bracelet on. Ironically, I hate wearing watches even though I have to. My first tattoo was a wrist tattoo (there’s an awesome story behind it but it has nothing to do with being a trapezium so I can’t share it here) and I have to cover it up to prevent kids asking about it constantly. Not that I am ashamed of it or anything, but the story is not exactly one that I think is appropriate for young children. I have somewhat phased out wearing a necklace because again, adults are not supposed to do that sort of thing (in case you haven’t I say that sarcastically). Also, I keep forgetting to put it on.

Shoes are a constant source of distress. I don’t like shoes at all. I would rather be barefoot or wearing flip flops at every moment of my life. Those are just comfortable and natural. But, for some reason, the world says you can’t do that. I still try to get away with it when I can, but I have been told that flip flops cannot be worn with long pants, and I still feel weird wearing shorts in public…so no flip flops. I remember one snow day, I went out for my usual snow-hike to Pizza Hut (a long standing tradition) and I have left wearing flip flops, shorts, and a hoodie. I was completely oblivious to the fact that it was 12 degrees outside, nor did I really care. I got a lot of strange looks that day (more than usual), but I was so comfy!

I get worried about wearing the same shoes over and over again too, because I think that is supposed to be also? So I have like 9 pairs of shoes and I try to alternate between them at a regular amount. Again, the shoes have to fit the mood and the day and the outfit. It is a very complicated ordeal to pick the right pair of shoes!

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